Mothering

I have been percolating on a lot of the things that were said during last week's General Conference regarding mothers/womanhood.  The importance of my role as a mother is something very sacred to me and not much will get my "quills standing on end" quicker than that role being demeaned or dismissed.  I walked to pick the kids up from school yesterday.  It was gorgeous weather outside and I couldn't pass up the chance since I knew it probably wouldn't last.  We are still in the 80s and 90s around here even though it is supposedly fall.  Anyway, we saw lots of lizards and butterflies on our way which thrilled Brinlee but terrified Cole.  As I walked up to the school, I was so happy.  The weather was perfect, the kids were being good- life was good.  We were a few minutes early so we found a spot in the shade to park the stroller while we waited for Sadie and Drew.  A woman next to me struck up a conversation by asking how far apart in age Brin and Cole were.  She was a chatty lady and then went on to ask how many other kids I had.  When I said four total, she got a surprised look on her face.  Next she said, "and you're a stay at home mom I am guessing?"  I replied yes- that I did stay home with them.  She was wearing scrubs and went on to tell me that she is a nurse who takes care of people in their homes.  She said she had 2 kids and she would never want to stay home full time with them.  I couldn't get many words in edge wise which was probably a good thing.  She told me how her husband worked 2 jobs and she worked 70 plus hours a week and that her kids were fine being home by themselves.  She ended with, " what really is there to do all day besides go to the park?"  I think my mouth may have been hanging open at this point.  Right then, the kids walked up to me and gave me a big hug.  The chatty lady and I parted ways and we started our walk home where we saw many more butterflies and lizards- only this time Drew was trying to catch them and bring them home as our pet.  It bothered me the rest of the day that I didn't try harder to say something positive about staying home with my children.  I thought of a hundred things I could have said in response to her park comment.  Then this morning, I was checking one of my favorite blogs and read something about motherhood that bothered me.  The woman who writes the blog does a Q and A kind of thing on Fridays.  She had answered someones question about if she felt like she had missed out on a career by being a stay at home mom.  She answered the question by saying that motherhood is the career she had always wanted and she was grateful that she had been able to make it work with her husband so she could stay home and live that dream.  Someone responded in the comments asking her why she had ever bothered to get a college degree- especially at an expensive college- if she knew she wanted her career to be as a mother.  I was dumb founded that someone would actually ask this.  I checked back throughout the morning to see if their was a response from the woman who writes the blog.  Here is what she said:
"Maria, like Amanda, I'm so sad that people think having a college degree is not important when you're a mother. We are raising the next generation! I am honestly so puzzled that I get this question quite a lot. I just don't understand why someone would think you should just not get an education if you want to be a mother??

A college education is not just so you can get a job. Sure, that helps. But there is OH SO MUCH MORE!! A college education is to expand your mind and help you see the world in a bigger view. It's to help you understand the world. How to understand a certain field. Help you understand others you study and work with. It gives life lessons. From my point of view it helps in every single aspect of mothering life.

I went to Boston University for my freshman year. I was able to get financial aid and was able to put my savings from the 10-20-70 whiz bang system my parents made up for us (because they were aware and had their own college degrees which I'm sure helped) to work and used it toward my tuition. I went to BYU for the rest of college and graduated in Social Work. I have never once worked in the Social Work field, but I have also never once had a day in my motherhood career that I didn't use the information I gleaned from those college courses, or from my college experience as a whole. I use my knowledge every single day of my mothering career.

Mothers are not just people to drive carpools and give hugs. WE are nurturing growing minds. We are teaching children about the world they are navigating. We are teaching them life lessons. How grateful I am to have a college education under my belt for this. Sure, there are no "majors" in being a mother, but to me, every single major in the world makes a difference in the mothering realm.

Please do not think that being a mother does not need education. Yes, people do it every day without, and they do it well. And I applaud them for that. But how lucky are we as mothers if we do have that opportunity to expand our minds just a little more. Motherhood is, in my opinion, the most important job in the world. And an education sure helps to do it more deliberately."

I am not one to comment on blogs of people I don't know personally, but I just couldn't help myself this time.  I posted a quick "AMEN to that," before I could change my mind about commenting.  This so sums up how I feel about my career as a mother and the value that my education brings to it.  I loved when she said, "mothers are not just people to drive carpools and give hugs.  We are nurturing growing minds.  We are teaching children about the world they are navigating.  We are teaching them life lessons."  I know that there are circumstances where it is not possible for a mother to stay home full time.  My sweet sister in law just wrote a beautiful post on her blog about the balancing act that is working and being a mom.  I so admire all that she does and the grace with which she does it.  I know there are also people like the woman at school who say they don't want to stay home full time- and I respect their decision.  I know for ME, it is what I have always wanted and it is what I feel like I am supposed to be doing.  I know that the work I do is so much deeper than laundry and cleaning and babysitting.  I find nobility in motherhood (RS Declaration) and know that the work I do within the walls of my home is the most important work I can do.